I just couldn’t hold it in any longer, I haven’t cried in a while over you.
Except tonight it just all came crashing down and this is the closest i’ve been to messaging since the last time I actually messaged you.
Sometimes I feel pathetic cause I know you won’t care. You’ve moved on and doing amazing things. There’s no reason why you should spent a thought on me. I honestly have no idea why…
Its the next day I wasn’t going to publish this but than I thought like idk this is my place to just talk about whatever and I want to talk about this cause I know eventually I am going to not care anymore and even after months this is part of the healing process
I started tearing up today. I just shift so much, I think so highly of myself than the next moment I think like everyone is right I do suck so much. When ever I think about when I was happy. I think about those moments when I could just talk to you. I value that a lot in a person and for a while I have been looking for someone that I can talk too, the way I talked to you. It doesn’t have to be in a romantic way, just someone to talk to.
I think that’s why I feel alone sometimes, because I just feel like I don’t have someone to actually talk to. I have a lot of friends that I talk to every day and call and hang out with. Except, with her it was a different kinda of talking, I just felt more myself than I ever did.